Never Underestimate the Power of No Power

The title allures to something more ambiguous then what is in fact the case, but I like it, don’t you? Really what I am talking about is the lack of power, electricity you know. It has become normal to expect and experience the rolling black outs on the little island I inhabit, Sometimes they occur at the most inopportune moments as last Wednesday when I was just stepping into the shower before work, all yucky from having not showered the day before because I hate baths as much as a cat, but that is another story. But sometimes it seems even CUC (our local corrupt power company) is all knowing and can see that what you really need is to put up the hammock, watch the stars, feel the wind blow, and look at all the lights below, because we share our power outages equally one village at a time now, and still your mind and get back to reality.

I had been working and going so strong the past week, reliving my days of college where I pulled all nighters and sat in front of the computer for hours. I was reminded why I did not stay in graphic design school, and that I could do that because I didn’t have class from noon to 2 and could take a nap. You see I was putting together a presentation for the parents at the school, and of course I wanted it to be a gift, wonderful, fabulous, and of course it was just okay, if i had been up to date on my programs it could have been better, and over in 2 hours, and probably soon forgotten. I’m still working on catching up on sleep though. And the funny thing about it is that I all of a sudden became self conscience and insecure about the whole thing, down to what I had hurriedly put on in attempts to be cool (meaning not sweating like a pig cause it is hot here). Then to top it off my boss asks, ‘when it is just finishing up, how much longer?’ Grrr that they suggested this event knowing I was the only one who could put it together like it was my punishment for leaving. Okay, okay, not really, but . . .

It was completely ridiculous. What I was feeling. I know. Yet there is something about being a known figure in a small island responsible for small children, and darned good at that, but you feel a bit as if you are a fish in a fish bowl and everyone is staring at you, judging you and you are never good enough in their small community gossip eyes, and once in awhile you get to step out of your role but then you feel all unprofessional. So there I was in the middle of the slide show, and I looked down. ‘Oh my god, I’m showing too much cleavage!’ Am I dressed inappropriately? But I was soo sweaty hot, I had to find something cool. ‘Oh no, there is a picture of me and children at the water park, I’m in a bikini top! How did I miss that? They must think I’m too risqué, they must think I put that picture in on purpose!’

And it went on, and on, and on. I spent three nights and days hardly sleeping in order to go through the 2,000 photos to put on something wonderful and meaningful complete with a soundtrack, and all I wanted to do was hide at the end and get out of there as quick as I could. I have to say I will be glad and interested in what it is going to be like as a community member as opposed to a teacher next year. And I also have a sneaking feeling that I really shouldn't give a damn what others think.

But back to no power. No power and the blessing of hammocks. I’m sooo thankful that my sweet heart put the hammocks up before he left for his tour. I don’t know that I would enjoy those power outages as much if I couldn’t swing and look up at the stars. And breathe. And write. Yes I was writing in that hammock. You couldn’t have realized this by just a glance but I had a whole slew of stories and vignettes and what not being devised in that hammock no paper nessecary.

So tonight I am thankful, I am thankful that I live on an island that still reminds us all we are lucky to experience the luxury of power, and as of May 1st they decided to really make it a luxury by doubling the power rates that were already higher then any 24 hour Wal-Mart in the states for a two bedroom apartment. I think they figured that if we can pay $4.44 per gallon then we must have enough for power. Or perhaps they are thinking that we need to just get rid of some of the riff raff on island and this was the best tactic, okay now I am falling into the sarcastic negativity. Really it’s not negativity, just a finding the funny in it all.

But I am thankful because in that hammock I gave pause to the silliness of the world and was reminded of rule #6 –DON’T TAKE YOURSELF SO DAMNED SERIOUSLY. In that light I am happy to be the foxy kindergarten teacher who shows too much cleavage. And I am happy that I have cleavage at all. I still find that fascinating as I never had it before a few years ago, sometimes it catches me off guard that I am an adult. And I am happy that there is no power and I get to lounge in a hammock, and even when there is power I have to shut it off so I can afford water, did I mention I picked this time to quite my job, and I am thankful that even though I find myself worrying about that lack of a paycheck that I know I wont starve cause that sweet heart of mine won’t let me, and I am thankful that that sweet heart can be thousands of miles away right now but still calls me to warn me of a possible tropical storm so I can stock up on water, pickles, dog food, and wine, and I am thankful that the truck gets me up the mountain every day despite the weird knocking sounds and the gas tank you can only put $40 in cause there are holes above the 10 gallon level that will leak. And I am thankful for a community of parents smart enough to put their children with our school and me. And I am thankful for my little munchkins, and I am thankful for reminders never to forget how to be a dragon (thank you, you know who for that – I just transferred that picture from my classroom to my home) and I am thankful for walks up Suicide cliff with dogs and friends. And I am thankful for realizing that I’ve been trying to be so darned philosophical with this whole blog that I forgot to just be me.

Hell I’m just thankful.