Do What You Love

Ever since I can remember I wanted to be a writer. As a child I would hide away with a book whenever possible. The characters and stories would spur my imagination taking me to far off places and into the minds of others. Books and the characters within became my ‘guides’ for life situations. I would rack my brain for the right character for the given situation to influence my actions and words. Often I was a Hemingway Character, sometimes Tom Robbins, I was even a Janette Oak character, hell I’ve even been a Jean M. Auel character.

I looked at life as an opportunity for stories, I still do. Sometimes staying a bit longer in a situation than good sense would warrant just to see what would happen next, in hopes of someday writing about it.

It was around 12 that I decided the only way to begin my own great adventures was to become a journalist. I would be a war correspondent, or work for National Geographic. I wavered a bit through college, starting as an English major, then deciding that art was my true calling, realizing I may not make a living as an artist brought me to art therapy, from there I found Montessori. And that is where I landed for 5 years.

Not only did Maria Montessori speak to my heart as she spoke of changing the world by teaching peace to children, Montessori offered me a chance to have a trade, and a trade that could take me anywhere in the world. It was the first time I remember someone very important to me telling me they were proud of me, because of this new found trade, and unfortunately that made me completely sad, because I knew that teaching would not be my life long work, however much I did enjoy it, it was only a step.

In fact I must take a moment to remark that I don’t think I was as much a teacher to the children as they were to me. Those little ones are truly the teachers as they remind us of all that we once knew to be true and make sense before our life got muddled with, well, with life. Thank you dear ones.

The need for change comes to me physically. I get antsy, I get irritable, I get dissatisfied. A little voice starts piping up that this is not what I want to do, I have bigger things to do. Often that feeling has been paired with a giant move across the country or world.

A year ago I decided that it was time, I’d been putting off what I wanted to do for far too long. So I had student loans hanging around my neck, so I had no savings to speak of, so I had not written anything of substance in years. No more excuses that I had to finish some adventures in order to write about them. It was time. I needed to do what I always wanted in life. I needed to write. So I started to try the title out. I verbalized it. I went home to visit family and I said the words, ‘I am going to be a writer,’ I wrote my Intention down.

I wrote all of my intentions down. It took a year of angst, questioning, and reality checks. But soon things started to happen. It wasn’t even apparent. But the universe started to work towards my Intentions as I repeatedly put them out. Before I knew it my student loans were cut in half. Those digits did not haunt me anymore. People have started to come into my life that are influencing and affecting me in a way that is pushing me towards my Intention to write and live the way that I find most fulfilling. And now I am in a position where I can say goodbye to the classroom, thank it for its many lessons and opportunities to know so many wonderful people, small and large, and to embark on my quest.

I am immensly greatful to those who are spurring me along.