You know that moment when you are slowly on the way up the hill of the roller coaster, inching your way along all the while knowing that there is a huge drop just beyond that last bit of track you see? And there is no turning back, you my friend are strapped in, it is inevitable you are going to drop, fast, and there are going to be twists and turns and more ups and more downs, and there is no getting off this ride, you are strapped in till the end. It's exciting, it's terrifying.
Well, it’s kinda like that. Here I am in the last week of school. Three more days left of children, then cleaning up the class. Still so involved that the thought of not being the teacher seems ludicrous, but yeah its reality. And why, why in the world would I be feeling annoyed and stressed when it is home stretch time? It’s that hill, oh God I always hated that hill. I wander if perhaps I am trying to hold onto that hill the closer I get to the drop. I think that means that I am doing the right thing. The right things are always the hard ones right, or so it seems. Just wow, I can’t believe how hard it is to let go of a 9-5 job for me, does not mesh with my vision.
My dear friend has so far presented me with two gifts in the last two days. Day 1 of ‘retirement’ preparation, and Day 2. Day 1 was a tin of cigars – learn how to relax and enjoy. Day 2 was an energizing mixture of aromatherapy oil to keep me energized in my new life. She’s getting me ready as if she knows that I am not capable of doing it myself, that at the rate I am going it is going to be so overwhelming that first day of no children will probably find me at the school wandering around in dismay. Thankfully the universe is putting people like that in my path.
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What a perfect anology -- of course, I have never had the courage to ride the big roller coaster myself. Although I have climbed a few hills and found myself on a roll down into unknown territory. But when I finally "landed" I loved the exhilaration of it all and the exploration of the new landscape. I once took a dare to parasail and once I was strapped in and the boat took off there was totally no turning back. I was white knuckled the entire time, hyperventalating while taking in the amazing view -- flying above an ocean with nothing but water below -- and then it was over, just when I started to breath and enjoy the adventure. So a word of wisdom: don't take so long adjusting and fearing the unknown. Enjoy each moment of the ride!!
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